I had a Lamb show up on my doorstep this morning. It was small and shit covered. I didn’t want to touch it, I let my dog lick all of that sewage off of it before I even went close enough to be able to touch it with a stick.
After It was cleaned and inside my even cleaner house, it bit me. So, in retaliation, I flogged it in the face. After the punch, it looked up at me with beady eyes and said, “That’s all you got, punk?”
I was pretty annoyed, I couldn’t even hurt a baby lamb, gracious. However, I did what all the bitches do. Drugged it. With Meth until it started singing Hindu songs and making me Pizza, until at which point it died and supplied me with tonight’s dinner.